Wanting to Live Wide-hearted in a World of Headlines

Under the shade of a rippling tarp, Dominican Republic partners and Office of Environment officials talked about mangrove reforestation, explaining the work we would do. I wiped sweat off my cheeks and glanced over at Mary.

Photo Courtesy Anh Brown

Twelve days earlier she had called me, conspiratorial laughter in her voice. "How would you like to fly with me to the Dominican Republic for a few days?" she asked. "And is your passport current?"

As a travel agent, Mary had been invited to see and give feedback on the land portion of a brand new kind of travel by Fathom Impact Travel, a subsidiary of Carnival Cruise lines. Paying for her (and a qualifying friend) to fly to the DR, Fathom wanted her to experience four impact projects: reforestation, water purification, conversational English, and cement-floor-laying, all working alongside Dominican partner organizations. Because I lead frequent humanitarian/missions trips, Mary knew I would qualify for the experience too.

Asking a few questions, I heard my excitement bubbling and spilling over. "Yes! When?"

Photo Courtesy of Fathom Travel and Mary Krueger

Photo Courtesy of Anh Brown

Twelve days later, we were standing in muddy sneakers in a mangrove national forest, learning how deep to plant new mangrove trees and guzzling water under a gorgeous blue sky. After reforestation, we met friends in conversational English. The next day we worked hard making ceramic and liquid silver clay water filters, and by Friday, we were here, walking alongside Laoris as a slight breeze blew.

Photo Courtesy of Lorena Vargas-Bella

"I'm proud to show you my community," she said. Laoris smiled at us and guided us down winding dirt roads beside vivid green, pink, and blue painted homes. Crimson flowers blazed from behind metal gates and along narrow landscaped borders.

I stumbled on a stone in the path and on her name, somehow adding a "t." Laoris was gracious, patient, correcting my Spanish with a trilling rolled "r."

Arriving at a green cement block home with corrogated metal zinc roofs, we were introduced to Francesca, a petite great-grandmother and her daughter Marianne. Partnering with Dominican NGO Entraina, our team of Americans, Brits, Peruvians, Canadians, and Dominicans worked alongside local cement layers to pour out Francesca's first-ever cement floor.

"When it rains, the dirt floors flood and become soggy, creating health hazards," Entraina and Fathom staff explained. "We work with community partners to see who can most benefit from these floors," adding that they hire local masons and professionals who supervise and guide the Impact volunteers' efforts as cement mixers, bucket-carriers, etc. Dominican experts leveled cement, taught us the recipe proportions for mixing sand, cement powder, and water, and troweled what we brought them.

Lining up assembly-style, I took my place with my teammates. Straddling an inner doorway and wiggling my sneakers into the grey gravel, busted concrete, and sand for stability, I reached out for a slippery bucket of wet cement. We crouched with straight backs and bent knees to safely transport the heavy buckets and our talk swirled in Spanish and English as we passed pails, turned faces to the new friends on both sides, and sailed across cultural divides. 

"This is from my great-granddaughter," Francesca said, pointing to a paper drawing of a poem nailed to the wall behind us. Words about a mama's love and her full-hearted acts of family service curled up a page and shimmied around a red-marker heart. I paused to read the words, understanding some, and getting soft-spoken interpretations from Laoris at times beside me.

Francesca grinned widely, a toothy grin dimpling up both sides of her face, silver hair pulled back into a ponytail. "This is my son, Jose," she said, pointing to a man who had just walked in. He reached out for a bucket of cement, heaving it up and over to the room's floor behind him. "It's his daughter," Francesca explained, and Jose pulled out his phone, scrolling to a photograph of his daughter.

Over and over on this four day trip, this is where we found ourselves... pulling open our hearts, sharing about loved ones, and diving into deep conversations about life, family, communities, and intentional impact-full living. Over rice and beans seasoned Creole-style, or on jostling buses through coffee plantations, across language books in laps inside neatly-swept dirt yards overlooking mountain sea-scapes, and on wifi hotel lobby steps, we leaned over and opened wide our lives. 

Dominicans', Canadians', Brits', Peruvians', and Americans' faces swim in my mind now, their names and stories apart of me. I smile in thinking of them, and have left parts of me as well through the time and conversations we had. 


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Straddling True Relationships in a Busy World

Brassy coronets and high-hat-swinging percussionists ring out Benny Goodman's jazzy Trees. Crescendos echo and fall before Louis Armstrong steps up to croon Let's Fall In Love. Piano keys traipse up and down their black and white board.

Photo credit: Darwin Bell, Creative Commons, cc license

Behind me on the small desk stool, my nineteen year old folds himself up to fit on the chair. Long legs bend around bony knees, feet curled under him. His arms swing excitedly, hands gesturing, as he talks about his day and a new game he is making.

I nod, half-turned sideways to see him, while stirring at the stove. Red pumpkin curry sauce splatters and simmers next to a bubbling pot of rice. I repeat words back, striving to truly listen and focus on him, but am embarrassed to note that I've momentarily stopped listening. He nods and continues, while I slide a fork into a chunkier piece of chicken to confirm the pink is gone.

My timer dings that dinner is done, and four of us gather at a table set for five.

"Let's pray. Morgan will be here soon and John has to go to work," I suggest. My husband Mark and six year old Daniel take turns praying, and the front door clatters.

These moments with the people in our lives are so fleeting. I'm trying to do them well with God's help, but they look differently than I had originally guessed. 

Earlier, my niece and I followed three preschoolers across a backyard. The boys swung sticks, laughed in happy battles, and helped me clear dry leaves from the strawberry bed. My niece and I talked by the swings; talked by the slide; and talked in the kitchen. Wiping mashed black cookie bits from wet faces, slicing up apples, and refereeing pebble squabbles, we grinned and conversed through it all.

In these days of interruptions, how do we narrow in and let loved ones know they are truly seen? 

I'm still acquiring this, and my children can roll their eyes or share laughing stories of some of my comical failures, but here's what I'm learning. We invest in loved ones by following their eyes, by striving to truly hear, and by coming back again and again to the topics at hand. "So, tell me about this film," I asked my niece, and we laughed and resumed our focus.

It looks different than I thought it would, this desire to connect and bond with the people in our lives, but it's worth it. And the relationships are priceless.

Want to Build Creativity, Boost Your Immune System, and Be More Alert?

Photo Credit, Berknot, Creative Commons, cc

It revved once, and then even the electricity turned off with a sad muted click, and the car sat silent in a frigid fourteen degrees below zero Sunday morning driveway. Yanking a lever under the left side of the dashboard, I jumped out of the car, pulling my mittens higher.

Facing the front of the car, I peered for several long minutes, then squatted down to stare closer. Sliding my hands along the smooth edge, I crouched lower for a better look, tapping on the car, reaching for levers, and slipping my hand inside.

Nothing seemed to be working, and I shivered in the cold morning air, stamping on the icy driveway to stay warm, knowing the answer was there, and should be obvious. I fingered around the car, tapping various connectors, and sliding metal wires and levers, before I was successful.

And that was just to pop the hood!


(Yes, this is the part where I dissolve into peals of laughter at my car ineptness but convinced of my own hilarity.) I know. My friends and family shake their heads in silent humor at me too.

My husband's mother used to sing this verse to him when he was a child. It still comes to his mind at times, and he'll break into a husky hum, "A cheerful heart does good like a medicine, but a mournful spirit dries up the bones" (Proverbs 17:22). Charlie Chaplin once said, "A day without laughter is a day wasted."

Numerous studies have shown the benefits of laughter: lowering blood pressure, improving memory retention, reducing stress hormones, exercising the abdomen, defending against respiratory illness and drastically improving your immune system, while raising creativity and alertness. 

I don't know what your weekend was like or how this week has started out for you, my friend. Some days it can be hard to find the humorous, I know. I'd love to listen, pray with you, or look for ways to laugh with you.

 I love hearing from you and getting to know you more. (Those in email can click here to join the conversation.) 

Need to See God? (He's at a band concert)

"Hey, can anyone be me tomorrow night?"

Her husband recovering from a kidney transplant and in the throes of frequent doctor visits, my friend flashed an email through space. She needed someone to attend a band concert with two of her children and to video-record the music.

"While I can't be you, I would be happy to drive ___ and ___ to the concert and to record their band pieces," replied another woman, warmly.

Suppers slip on to their kitchen table on busy nights. Children jump into approved cars for quick hospital visits, and an email army stands ready to help.

Need to see God? I see him in women whipping up extra suppers and in grandmas wrangling seat-belts.

Need to see God today? I see him through a brother-in-law's generous living-donor kidney and a stitched up side. I see God's work in early hospital releases, lowered chances of infection, and in mylar helium balloons from a women's Bible study with the note: "You cause us to be astounded in our God! Thank you." The balloons bob in a yellow stucco dining room, as kids study and a shaved dog wags tail.

Need to see God? He's in kitchens, and carpools, and trips to the store for groceries.

And the joy? It flows over and down.

Linking with Ann at A Holy Experience and Emily at Imperfect Prose.

5 Ways to Connect With Your Teen Son/Daughter This Week

“I like the crunching snow,” he states as we walk in the dark. Streetlamps puddle light every block or so. Red, green, blue and white Christmas lights still twine around neighbors’ decks and shrubs, blinking at us.

The wind blows cold and scatters snow sequins at us, and I draw my black scarf higher on my cheeks. “Let’s take the wooded path since there are two of us,” I reason. We don’t normally walk alone down dark secluded paths.

At the bottom of the hill, surrounded by towering trees, we immediately halt in silence. The wind roars in the black branches above me, like ocean waves. Branches sway under a grey clouded moon, and I can hear the aged trunks rumbling as they move in the fierce wind. We linger in the wooded glen, just listening to the roars and creaks, and breathing in deep air. Then we continue our evening walk, laughing and talking as we go.  

As a mom of three kids, including a preschooler, I confess that being intentional about time with my kids is often hard. After a long day, it is so much easier to collapse on the couch with a movie at night, or slip into facebook and email mode on the computer, than to look for ways to invest in my kids. But I am seeing how quickly time passes—my oldest has just one more year of high school left, and he is often gone now at friends’ houses. My lanky daughter grows more willowy by the day, and can disappear into online chat with friends.

Being intentional about time with our kids is vital, and is always hugely rewarding when we do it. Creating memories with your family doesn’t need to be expensive or exhausting. Here are five tips that have worked for our family.

1.)    Car Trips = Captive Audiences. Crank the radio lower and start some conversations the next time you are in a vehicle shuttling between classes, gymnastics, or swim team. Then, just listen as your teen talks and shares his or her life. Occasionally ask questions, but don’t be afraid of some silence. A pause allows them to start their own topics. 

2.)    Physical Touch is still important. While snuggling on the couch isn’t as common now as when they were toddlers watching cartoons, physical affection is still very important and needed for teens. Back rubs, hand or foot massages, hair tousles, rough-housing and hugs are still great ways to say I love you. 

3.)    Join them in their hobbies and interests. Throughout the last month, my daughter has been filling us in on seaside fiascos and gelatinous water villains from a mermaid show that she has been following. Last night she and I cozied up on the floor with velvet pillows to watch the season finale. Find out what your teen is passionate about, ask them questions about it, have them teach you something, and join them. This could be a great way to get in shape and learn a new hobby too. We enjoy trying new family games. 

4.)    Go on a date. My children use coffeeshops against me, knowing that I am too easily talked into them, but we have great talks over their strawberry-banana smoothies. Life, friends, end-of-season-sports, relationship questions and more can come from these special times out.

5.)    Enjoy God-talks together. Pray together over meals, or spontaneously for sick friends or family, and for lost keys, sad days, etc. Tell your child what you have been reading in God’s word lately, and confess what you have been struggling with applying recently. Joyfully share cool things God is teaching you. Be quick to apologize, and to sincerely ask forgiveness.