Transforming Homework Sessions into Home Memories

Wind chimes clang in the ten degree weather, and students everywhere unload textbooks and notebooks across kitchen tables, or toss heavy backpacks onto worn couches.

Artist Hilda Robinson, "Studying at the Table"

What transforms homework sessions into home memories? 

It's the x-factor, that unknown variable that finagles its way into each afternoon. Whether its mixed formulas in Algebra or seismology from Physical Science, there is always a potential for life to be shaken right up, huh?

Class homework seems to be an afterschool event in most families. How do we create happy family environments and memories while flipping pages, erasing problems gone wrong, and keeping everyone on task?

Cutting into gooey caramel-chocolate cupcakes, my teen daughter and I wrote out algebra problems side-by-side on the sunny kitchen table today. I sipped hot coffee and we looked together at the problems she had misunderstood earlier.

"Oh, I see it. I know what I did wrong," she exclaimed, circling a forgotten negative sign. We moved on to other problems, cracking jokes, getting drinks of water, and talking with others in the room.

After one too many interruptions, I became agitated and brusquely brought us back on track. "Okay, let's focus now," I said, sterner than I needed to.

"Mom, we're fine. It's okay. I'm working," assured Morgan.

I paused and remembered. Laughter, calm, and intentionality make the difference. We both visibly relaxed, sinking deeper into our chairs in the sunlight, working quietly on math problems together. Quiet saxophone music played from a corner of the kitchen.

Later Daniel and I read books together, noticing rhyming sounds, commenting on watercolor illustrations, and learning about bats and shadows. We made paper cut outs for shadows, and cast long pictures across the living room floor, before ducking into the bathroom with a flashlight too. Shadow bats, cats, and snowmen wavered in the light, dancing in his hands.

"See how any shadow picture needs the light?" I taught Daniel. "Without light there is no shadow. Where is the light source to make this shadow?"  

Those phrases suddenly seemed much deeper than simple preschool science. To cast a picture, there is always a light. There is always a light. Where is the light source? Without the light there is no image.

Hmm, I snapped off the red flashlight, and headed back to the kitchen. Peaceful saxophone music still played, Morgan gathered up her heavy science books, and I sought out children's videos about bats.

(Also linking up with Emily at Imperfect Prose.)

Explaining Easter to a Preschool Warrior

Bringing up topics of pain, torture and death to three year olds is hard. Splashed across the pages of my son’s children’s Bible are scenes of Jesus being whipped and hung on a cross. 

Before that page, though, are the ones that most grab his attention. Jesus is pictured, surrounded by a ring of soldiers bristling with spears and swords. Next Jesus was captured and led away, hands tied behind his back. 

“Mom, what’s this?” asked my son. 

To my wee warrior, life is black and white. There are good guys and bad guys. Daniel tackles the world with swords, courage and chivalry. His rubber scraper or plastic spatula swords are never far from him, often shoved down the side of his pants for easy access. Whipping them out at a moment’s notice, he crouches into a warrior stance. “I save you, Mom,” he says often. “Me and Jesus fight bad guys.” 

But this Jesus he has been hearing about is big and strong, a warrior. “My God is so big, so strong and so mighty, there’s nothing my God cannot do,” we croon in his ears in the dark after nightmares. 

So my son stared in surprise at an illustration of Jesus being surrounded by soldiers and then captured. Could his Warrior be beat? 

Scooping Daniel up, I carried him to the couch and we cuddled together with his Bible. 

“Ooh, this is a good true story. So… Jesus has lots of power, right? He and his friends helped people. They fixed hurt legs, and healed eyes that didn’t work, right? Remember that? And remember that one time he was on the boat with his friends and a huge storm was dangerous around the boat? Remember how Jesus stood up and said, “Shhh, wind, be quiet. Storm, stop.” And it did! His friends were so amazed. “Even the wind and waves listen to him!” they said. “Wow!” 

“Here,” I continued, looking at the illustration of Jesus praying in the garden. “Here, Jesus knows that something hard is going to happen soon. He is talking to God. An angel comes and gives him strength.” 

Turning the page we saw Judas race into the garden bringing the soldiers behind him and leaving a traitorous kiss on Jesus’s cheek. “Here, this guy was mean. He pretended to give Jesus a kiss, but really he was telling the bad guys, ‘This is Jesus. Get him.’”

“Now, Jesus could have stopped these guys—psssht! Like that!” (flicking my hand). “He had power and was super strong. But Jesus had a secret plan.” 

“His friends were scared and pulled out their swords.” Daniel listened avidly, understanding swords. “Peter cut off a soldier’s ear, but Jesus said, ‘No, no swords right now’ and he picked up the cut ear and fixed it back on the man’s head! Jesus could have stopped them, but he had a secret plan and he let them get him.” 

We looked through the pages of Jesus’s fake trial, his friend Peter’s fear and the rooster, and the whipping. “Wow, he loved us so much to do this for us, huh?” 

The cross scene is read quietly and then more excitedly as the wild details unfold. “Did you know that even though it was daytime – like around lunch time—the sky got super dark like nighttime?! Wow! And there was an earthquake shaking the ground and people were scared.” (I save the fact that many graves opened up and formerly dead people awoke and lived again, walking through the city.) 

“The soldiers standing nearby Jesus said, ‘Wow, maybe this really was God!’"

We talked about the thieves on either side of Jesus, and we ruminated again on how much Jesus loves us that he would go through this pain for us. “Wow, he really loves you and me, huh?” 

The secret plan had silence and waiting. His friends were afraid. They didn’t understand the secret plan. 

Then Daniel and I flipped to the resurrection page of his illustrated Bible. “Guess what?! Jesus is alive!” I yelled. “He rolled away this heavy rock, and he had angels there to tell people, ‘Guess what? Jesus is alive! It was his secret plan to beat the bad guys!’” 

“Jesus let them get him, and kill him, but he had a secret plan. He knew that he would come alive again in a few days and win—beating them! Jesus is alive and strong!” 

Daniel and I danced around the living room for a little bit. My wee warrior was excited and happy. 

“Me and Jesus fight bad guys."

"Yes, you and Jesus fight bad guys. But you know what? Jesus also likes to tell bad guys, ‘Hey, stop being a bad guy. Be nice. Say sorry.’ And they often do it. Jesus loves them, even the bad guys.” 

“Yeah,” Daniel agreed, jumping around. “Me like Jesus.”

Leadership Teams and Seeking God's Leading

At work today as the church Body Life Coordinator, I have been brainstorming the small group line ups for this fall. My desire is to not simply create events for events' sake in today's overly-busy world, but to prayerfully choose what will best benefit my church body. My desire is for them to be connected with each other as a church family, to grow, learn, serve, be transparent, and to support each other as we all strive to love and serve Christ more. So I seek out feedback from the congregation and seek out my Abba Daddy's heart, wanting to hear His voice.

As summer winds down to a close, I imagine that your women's Leadership team meetings are kicking into last minute high gear too. If you have one or two last spots to fill for your speakers 2011-2012 lineup, let me offer you first pick of a brand new workshop for this year. Or feel free to use any of my other messages.

Preschoolers: Intentional Parenting

By request, a workshop on parenting our preschoolers and toddlers with a larger purpose in mind. With the high energy of constant “Why’s?” and “No, Don’t Touch that!,” it’s too easy to simply parent reactively, or in pure survival mode.  We have all done that. Take this chance to sit back, peak into God’s word, and get the larger purposes involved in parenting preschoolers and toddlers. Walk away with handy tips to diffuse tantrums, enable choices, retrain rude mouths, and build peaceful sibling relationships. Plus be inspired anew to create a sense of awe and wonder for our kids’ Creator! 

Contact me and my speaker board at (763) 780-9812 if you are interested. In the meantime, may you and I both enjoy sitting at the feet of our Abba/Daddy.